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Tuesday, June 28, 2011


Sadly it seems almost weekly we learn of another marriage in crisis. Christian couples near divorce or filing for divorce. David and I are doing a lot of studying. Talking. Praying. I repost this from our wild raspberry sisters blog from several months back.


Charity suffereth long and is kind;
charity envieth not;
charity vaunteth not itself;
is not puffed up,
doth not behave itself unseemly;
seeketh not her own,
is not easily provoked,
thinketh no evil.
Rejoiceth not in iniquity,
but rejoiceth in the truth;
Beareth all things,
believeth all things,
hopeth all things,
endureth all things.
1 Corinthians 13:4~7

I am behind on a few things I was hoping to share. The love of my life and I recently celebrated our 20th wedding anniversary, and I planned on a long post about our exploits(along with fifty other random ones). Hubby thought that hiking the Grand Canyon from rim to river to rim would be a SUPER way to spend our 2oth. (I still think he was trying to get out of celebrating our 21st by doing me in!) Every page on the Grand Canyon site said "WARNING do NOT attempt to hike from rim to river to rim in one day!!!" My uncle who lives in Phoenix and who is a hiking enthusiast said, "I hiked from rim to river to rim in one day, once in my life. I couldn't walk the next day." Nice.

Did we do it. Yes. Did I survive? Just barely. Did our marriage survive? You betcha. It was quite an accomplishment to achieve together.

But on to this post. I don't feel like I can get onto posting about other things until I get this one out. My heart is aching for so many hurting marriages. Angry, hurting men and discontented, angry women. Couples that are falling apart daily before our eyes. Couples that want to get it right, but are just not sure how. Striving for the goal, but not reading The Map to get there.

Marriage isn't for wimps. It's not for the "I want it my way" types, or for the "I give up" types. I've been those types. Satan has had the both of us wrapped around his finger before. He tried to take us to rock bottom, but you know who's there? The ROCK, Jesus Christ and our wonderful Heavenly Father. His wonderful word, His wonderful church full of faithful friends to help us find our way back to HIS way for marriage.

It's not for the faint hearted. It's hard work. It's Heaven on Earth. It's all fairy tales, and dirty dishes, late night romance and dancing in the living room, aggravation that he didn't get you an anniversary card, heaping your heart over flowing full of thankfulness that he holds you so tightly every night, hard work. It's forgiveness and laughter and happily ever after, did he leave his dirty clothes on the floor again? It's less of self and more of him, because of HIM. It's stop being selfish and get your head out of the clouds, It's let's do it God's way and not my way. It's ALL about agape love, and then the romance, and lovin' fun good times come. It's mud tracked on the carpet I just cleaned, It's being chased down the hall and carried off to our room, wrestled and kissed, while the kids laugh...It's remembering that I am created to be his help meet...did he leave the toilet seat up? All rolled up into one. It is HARD WORK...And it is worth every second spent in prayer, worth every bit of work, sweat and tears you put in it. It takes conscious, deliberate action, discipline, selflessness, not selfishness, to make it work and it does NOT happen by chance.

Besides His Holy word, here are a few books that have helped me (that are helping me), though I give a disclaimer to not agreeing scripturally with every thing in the last two books, they are excellent encouragement for Godly marriages.

The Challenge of Being a Wife

Created to Be His Helpmeet

The Excellent Wife

I am praying for all of us to make our marriages what God would have them to be.
May God bless you as you strive for Heaven on Earth~
a very blessed wife,

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

The Graduate

Our sweet Candice Marie.
Eighteen and all grown up.
I'm really not sure where the time has gone.
We are so proud of her and the faithful young lady she has become.
She loves God, children, long walks on our country road,
taking pictures (especially with her new Nikon), listening to music,
hanging out with friends, facebook, family and reading.
She is a wonderful young woman.
And it seems just yesterday she was a tiny girl.
{This one makes me get a little clumped up.}
It seems like only yesterday that we got the phone call from our social worker saying they had two precious little babies;
a tiny little girl, just turned three
and her bitty baby brother just nineteen months.
She called me.
I called hubby.
Hubby said "yes".
We did not know until those precious little babies arrived at our house that they were our namesakes.
Our bitty girl was Candice Marie, and I am Deborah Marie.
Our bitty boy was Robert Wayne, and hubby is David Wayne.
Some would call it coincidence. While I don't call it a sign, I do call it Providence.
And I do feel blessed to have them.
I feel blessed by each one of our precious five children.
I have always told our children that some grew in my womb, and some grew in my heart.
Another friend with special needs children always tells people,
if you think my hands are full,
you should see my heart.
I love that.
Of course the years of feeling like my hands are full are mostly behind.
Our blessings are grown, faithful, and a great help to us both.
I don't know how I would do without my sweet Candice.
She is a tremendous help and a joy to work beside!
Plain and simple.
I prayed for five and God gave us just that.
Hubby told me I was not allowed to pray for six. :)
Candice and her bestie, Lindsey.
She even got to skype with Linz, late after the graduation party.
It was the perfect ending to that perfect night of celebrating Candice's accomplishments!
Candice and her sweet girlie girl cousins,
Aubrie and Rylee, our best friends,
Alyssa and Sydney and another great friend,
Abby cutting up!
Candice and Kara, a dear friend and "sister".
All the cousins.
She is always happiest with little ones and family around.
When it's both, it's perfection.
Family and friends at Burr Oak, our favorite nature center, and the home of a thousand family memories and a thousand family walks.
Bible Camp Girlfriends!
Another dear friend, her sweet Naomi!
Sisters and friends.
So different and so alike!
Booh, Candy, and Bean.
(Oh my word, I can NOT believe I just typed Candy)
Sweet sister smiles and love.
More wonderful family memories.
Our beautiful family picture with sweet Shauna, at Joshua's graduation.Beautiful both inside and out, in Jamaica teaching little ones about the LORD.
Candice and her beautiful Aunts, Chas and Shauna.
It was so hard to be without Shauna during this wonderful time in her life.
It's real.
Yes they did misprint the diploma.
They put 2012.
But they sent the new one with 2011.
I just forgot to take a picture of it.
She is a joy and a blessing.
And I do love that girl.
Happy graduation sweet baby girl!
I love you!

Tuesday, June 14, 2011


I am trying to play a little bit with my blog.

A very tiny little bit.

My problem is I love white SO much,
that every back ground I try seems garish to me.

This is the one that I found that I like the best...
but it's still just a maybe...

White is just so CLEAN and crisp!

I wish the middle part was white or light grey
and not light blue.

What do you think?


Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Cross words and other things...

"Cross Words" is a little poem that I keep in my Bible,
with many other wise sayings and treasures,
Like the last anniversary card my grandma gave me that says
"And they lived happily ever after." because she believed we would.
It may seem silly that it helps me to believe it too, but it does.
A dear card from my bestie, telling me how much she loves me.
Yep. I am that insecure to love that re-assurance.
A list of things women can do to serve from another of my dearest friends,
to help me remember the work God has for me to do.
It is all too easy to forget.
My prayer list.
(Self explanatory.)
All of these things are special,
and they help me to be a better Christian.
When I remember to read them.
That "when" thing is really kicking my hiney.

I struggle with my tongue and cross words.
No excuses, but plain truth.
It is made worse by hormone fluctuation during certain times of the month.
Again, no excuse, but true.
If I don't constantly work on trying to do better,
guess what...I don't.

It seems I (and others) of course struggle the most
(with whatever our particular struggle is)
when life is tougher than tough.
Prayer and Bible study are not what they ought to be.
Have not been what they ought to be.
I used to pray constantly and study daily.
Now I am struggling.

Lack of prayer and Bible study is a vicious cycle.
The less you do, the more you suffer for it and need to get back to it.
It is especially the case for someone like me.
Someone with a naturally harsh tongue who is too black and white,
who teaches the need to show grace and mercy to others,
but often forgets to exhibit those very qualities.
Not pretty. I know.

Today is a new day.
Even a fresh new month.

I am trying to shake off the fog of these last few months.
The last few years.
To focus and live purposefully.
To spend the time in prayer and study that I should be spending.
To talk to God and to believe He is listening.
You may be tired of reading my posts like this one.
I am tired of writing them.
But it is what it is, and right now it's hard.

I don't write for sympathy, or to discourage others.
I am sorry if I am discouraging.

I write because I KNOW I am not the only one struggling right now.
I intellectually "know" I am not the first Christian to have these struggles,
but emotionally and spiritually, it is debilitating.
It makes you feel weak.
At the worst of times, it makes you question your own salvation,
because you are discouraged and discouraged with yourself for being discouraged,
if that makes any sense.
It makes you wish you were dead.
Not taking your own life dead,
just "Please take me now LORD" Elisha's kind of wishing dead,
too discouraged to go on, too overwhelmed to keep up the fight.

I know the answer has to be re-focusing, re-purposing, re-dedicating my life to God.
I know others are struggling and stumbling along with a face plastered on outwardly that it is all o.k....but none of us are feeling that it really is, on the inside.
We are weary, sad and discouraged.
Stumbling, frustrated, feeling unsure of so much.

I know we need to take one day at a time.

So, I continue to ask our Christian friends to pray for our family,
our loved ones,
as we struggle to go on without Shauna,
for so many struggling marriages,
for so many diagnosed with cancer,
for our faith to be strong again,
for our hope to feel secure again,
for the wisdom to handle these struggles in God's way,
for strength to pick our selves up and immerse ourselves in His word,
and the humility to fall down on our knees in prayer,
and for the peace to KNOW He hears us.

And for us to just remember to have love,
kindness and patience with each other as our resources and coping skills are not just low,
but seem to be (temporarily) gone.

The Cross Word

The cross word never made a friend,
It never earned a cent,
It never made a house a home,
It never bought content.

It never made a poor man laugh,
Nor mad a rich man grin;
It never caused an honest act,
Nor kept a soul from sin.

It never made a baby coo,
Nor made a sick child smile,
It never pleased the virtuous,
It never pleased the vile.

In fact, the cross word is about
The one thing on this earth
That we can get along without
Because it has no worth!


"Let your speech be always with grace,
seasoned with salt,
that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man."
Colossians 4:6

love to you all,