24 Days of Blessings 1-5

As I sat here all cozy in my window seat this beautiful November morning, sipping a hot cup of spiced tea, and gazing at the bright leaves plastered on the ground, I pondered for a while all the blessings God has bestowed upon us, and me, in particular in my life.

The first thought of thankfulness that crowds all other thoughts from my heart is being thankful for His infinite mercy and love for taking a wretched sin sick sinner like me, and looking into my heart, knowing if only I knew Him I would obey Him and love Him for all I'm worth. Then His Providential hand placed one kind and loving good man in my path that would show me the way. Oh the depth and the riches of God's saving Grace flowing down from the cross for me! It is a fact I ponder daily that His infinite Mercy and Grace are completely unmerited by me.

My first thought of thankfulness always turns me right to my second, my dear husband, my Enri, by David Wayne, my Superman, my savior that led me to my Savior. I do believe in soulmates, and he is mine. No matter that we may disagree on some things, no matter that communication can sometimes be difficult between a crazy busy gal who sometimes uses way too many words, and a good and Godly man of few words; He is just what I need, and I am infinitely thankful for him. He is my life, my strong and steady, my best friend, the one who loves me, guides me and stands beside me through every battle that has come our way.

And battles lead me to my third thought of thankfulness. I am thankful for God giving me my best (girl) friend, Tammy, a faithful Christian, a treasure, a true best friend, a therapist, who would truly help me to heal and push me to be the best that I can be. Whole, faithful, Godly, focused, happy, content, at peace with my past, letting go of my past, and pushing forward with Joy for today and All God has blessed me with. Knowing where I came from and where I am is enough to make me the firmest believer in God's mighty Providence. My salvation is enough. My husband is enough. Tammy is enough. Any one of these blessings in my life brings me to my knees with Thanksgiving, completely humbled by the Mighty loving care of a God who has woven this wonderful, impenetrable fabric of loving care and concern throughout the days of my life to bring me to this day.

This one friend, my bestie, and this woven fabric that surrounds me, leads me to counting my other greatest blessings, my other best friends. Blessings upon blessings have been showered upon me because of my wonderful daughters Ashley and Candice, my sweet Shauna, my dear Chasity, Luvenia, Colby, Tina, Cindy, Joy, Nancy, Judy. Good women. Better that good. Good doesn't say enough. Tough. Kind. Loving to the depths of their souls. Honest. Strong. Faithful. And here for me every step of the way. When we were hurting and barely able to lift our heads, when we laughed until we cried and every painful step in between. I thank God every day for these precious women who have borne it all with me. I thank God for weaving them into the fabric of my life to mold me, form me, make me into this woman that I am. A woman that loves deeply that wants to show that love to them and be here for them like they have always been for me.

My last thought of thankfulness for the day will sound strange to some, and make sense to others. I am a bit ahead of the game as I believe this will be my fifth thing to list and it's only November third, but these five all go together. You may think it's strange that I have not named my children, my precious, precious children yet, but I will. I will get to each one of them individually. But it's these first thoughts that help me to love my husband and my children as God would have me to. That help make me the wife, momma and friend that I want to be. So the last thankful thought I leave you with today, is my cancer. I thank my Father every day that I had cancer. It hangs over me as a shadow. Not frightening me or worrying me, but reminding me that I truly don't know how long I have. It helps me not wait until tomorrow to tell my blessings and grandblessings that I love them dearly. It reminds me to hug them and rub their backs and hold them and love them for all I'm worth. It prompts me to fall on my knees thanking God for one more day. It focuses me on peace, patience, love, tranquility, faithfulness, mercy, grace, seizing the moment, and working with all my might today. It taught me to sit and wait. To enjoy every moment both the quiet and the crazy. It gave me a doctor who has helped me let go of my imperfections, and truly feel whole and normal, even when dealing with a possibly terminal illness.

Oh, I am thankful. So very thankful. I love you my friends. I pray your day is blessed with REALIZED blessings.

love~
m

My Wednesday walk/run ramblings...

Hello Dear Friends,
I love writing to you all.
I'm not good at writing letters with pen and paper. I have good intentions, but we all know how that goes, so blogging is the perfect way for me to keep in touch with so many that I love.

Just a few random thoughts that I started writing down Wednesday,
that somehow spilled over into Thursday...
that may spill over yet again if I don't get with the program and finish this post.

First my goofy move of the day, well Tuesday.
I knew that I was officially back into the swing of exercising when I was on my way to a doctor's appointment yesterday and I just barely caught myself before I squeezed my water bottle over my head in the still hot car. Yep. I do that regularly running on hot summertime roads and trails. But NOT on the way to the doctor. Not my brightest moment of the day. But funny.

My normally~at~home~still~kiddos have been gone to Bible camp this week. I had all of these ideas of getting a LOT done...ahem...Not so much. I haven't painted one little ol' piece of furniture. I haven't worked on one single itty bitty household project...and believe me there are still plenty to chose from. And while I have done a tiny bit of mending, I haven't even sewed much to speak of. I have done my normal housework: laundry, a wee bit of cooking, dishes. Nothing to write home about.

Friends have said, "Boy, I bet you are really missing your kids!" and, not even feeling guilty, I said, "I am really enjoying a quiet house and time alone with hubby." I love my kiddos. I shore do. But after so many hard months of high stress, chaos and anxiety, I am not minding a slower pace. I am not minding not doing much at all. I am not minding solitude and pondering time. I am NOT ready for my kiddos to be gone yet. But a little down time has been nice. And they are having a wonderful time at Bible camp.

I have used my quiet free time to go on a lot of long walk/runs, to spend a LOT of time in prayer, to do some extra Bible study, and to try and do some extra nice things for hubby and other friends and family here and there. I joked since my kiddos were gone, I was working on my wifey/sister skills. :) I picked up ice cream a few times this week and met hubby for a quick ice cream in his office date. Alas...there was not much smooching involved...
Hubby has windows in his office...sigh...
But in the evenings...
Yep, we watch the Tour de France...

What did you think I was going to say?
wiggles eyebrows mischievously
;)

I spend most of my time in prayer while running and walking.
Deep meditative prayers, that are often disrupted by,
well, sort of,
Attention Deficit Disorder Prayers.
Prayers of overwhelming thankfulness that often interrupt my prior thought.
A lot of thanking God for whatever bird or wild flower has just come into my line of vision, for the sheltering arms of a huge Oak tree that gives me a few moments respite from the hot sun as I run under it's cool branches and feel the most delicious breeze wash over me and refresh me for just a moment before I am out of the shadow, and under the hot summer sun again.
I thank God for trees a lot.
For the varying shades of greenness of each one. For the different varieties he has given us.
For the wonderful shade they create. For the idea of sheltering beneath them which draws me to God, and makes me remember that He shelters me in His arms at all times.
For the bliss of a moment in the shade and the cooling breeze that always accompanies my brief respite there.
Tress always make me thank God and ponder His infinite mercy for making something as lovely and magnificent as trees, just for our enjoyment. Just because of His infinite love and care for us.

Anyway.
I may be deep in prayer for someone's marriage, when this lovely little pair of Mr. and Mrs. Bluebirds just flit right over head, and I interrupt one thought of prayer to say thank you Dear Heavenly Father for those husband and wife bluebirds, I mean, bluebird mates. Because my prayer is spilling out right then as I run and breathe, and I catch myself praying, I don't mean to sound flippant...of course bluebirds are not married, but thank you Father for these beautiful bluebird mates. For the brightness of their wings, for creating so much just for us to see and enjoy. Thank you for blessing me with so much...
I'm not kidding.
My prayers are often interrupted and rambly.
Go figure.

But I know that God knows my heart.
He knows how thankful I am for every beautiful sight he allows me to see, every beautiful morning songbird he allows me to hear.
He knows I am trying.
Oh, I am trying with all my might to please Him.

I know I fail.

Of course HE knows I fail.

And I am so thankful,
so thankful above all else for His infinite mercy and grace for me.
For His infinite patience with me as I long so much to be more like Him,
to be more pleasing in His sight.

Yep, I have a long way to go. We all do. Aren't you so glad, along with me,
for God's unchanging nature?

Spending time in prayer being thankful is so good for you.
The more thankful you are,
the happier you are.
Not to mention it truly helps you to keep a humble, content outlook and focus.

But, onto some ramblings.
Two more odd little tidbits.
Two fortuitous little bits of information that have helped make my running more...
well bearable,
since I can't quite call it fun yet.
:)

I squirt myself with my perfume every morning when I get dressed out of sheer habit.
Hubby really likes my perfume, and I like that.
(No comments from the Jensens, my kiddos or Kara about aforementioned perfume.)
Ahem...
A girls gotta have some secrets.

Anyway, so, just out of habit, the other day before I ran, I squirted my perfume on my running clothes. NOT on purpose, because, let me tell you, no amount of perfume is going to cover up the funk you work up running.
Nuf' said.
However, I did, and that day when I ran, the horseflies that torment my running existence, left me alone.
I made up a little ditty as I ran, something like:

What's good for hubby and puts a smile on his face,
The horse flies don't like the way it tastes...

Yes, sometimes I am beyond lame.

But now I spray that perfume on every day before I run.

Tidbit number two.
Every morning before I run I was washing my face with Dove soap, like I do every day.
Well, it is hotter than a fire cracker right now.
It's been in the upper eighties when I start, and ending in the nineties by the time I finish and that is early~ish in the morning.
Sweat is pouring off of me.
Not a pretty picture, I know, but you have to have the details for this story.
So, as the sweat starts to seriously run down my face, it has been burning my skin like nobody's business.
I started to wonder if I had acid sweat.
Hubby was sure it was from too much salt.
Hubby likes to blame a lot of things on my salt intake.
He mostly just likes to harass me.
That hubby of mine.
:)
But I got to thinking, hmm...I wonder if it is some kind of reaction with the dove soap and sweat.
So, today, I did NOT wash my face before I ran,
and
TA DA!!!
No burning/acid feeling on my face!
Hooray!

Just passing these tidbits on,
in case any of you gals need some running/walking in the super hot sun tips..
or just a good laugh on my behalf.
:)

A few confessions now.

I love the idea of getting up early, but I'm not great at it.
Barf.
I would love to get up every day at 5:30 and run.
Every night, I think it sounds like a wonderful plan.
But almost every morning I have to fight going back to bed after hubby leaves.
The alarm goes off at 6:30 and hubby hits the snooze until 7:00 and we get up.
Pit-i-ful.
I know.
But it's how we roll.

I am not "naturally" submissive.
I have to work at it.
Hard.
I'm getting better.

I make up goofy songs all the time.
All. The. Time.
See aforementioned horse fly tune.
The grandblessings love it.
Hubby?
Eh, not so much.
One of our family favorites,
o.k., one of my favorites, is

"Here's the scoop,
eating oatmeal helps ya poop."

Yep. They're not always pretty. Just little ditties all day long.
But I also sing a lot of church songs too.
Singing, even silly songs, is just good for you I think.

Well, that's all for now.
I'm sure I should be doing something productive.
:)

Hubby will be home soon.
I need to go put some perfume on.
wink wink

Love you all!
I hope your night is wonderful!
Love
~m.