Fed Up

Good morning my sweet family and friends!
(er afternoon~eveningish...this post took a long time to write)

I wanted to tell you thank you for all of your encouraging and uplifting comments, messages and emails. It's one thing to be reprimanded when you are being a stinker and unkind, but it's another thing to get that when you are really trying to do your best for your family, for your friends and for the LORD.

In my sweet Sugarbears words "That weally thtinkth!" (that really stinks)

No biggie.
Not trying to whine...
o.k....maybe a little...
I DID get the wind knocked out of me for a bit.
But that's o.k.
God is sooo good and here HE gave us a brand new day on this side of eternity to enjoy and glorify HIM!

You all know that Our sweet Shauna left us this year (No, I still can't say died) .
I had cancer this year.
I don't feel a little focused on Heaven.
I feel a LOT focused on Heaven.
Again, I'm not "ALL that".
Yikes, I have so far to go.
But I LOVE MY LORD, HIS WORD and MY FRIENDS.
I know my goal, and I am so thankful that my sweet Savior knows ME,
knows my heart,
knows my intentions.

So, I was a little fed up.

I admit it.

You see, my family is stuck with me.
My dear LORD and Heavenly Father are stuck with me.

That leaves you, my friends.

You, lucky folk that you are , are not stuck with me!
You can "unfriend" me if you want to.
Just take me right off of your friends list if I offend you.
It will NOT offend ME or hurt my feelings.
It's o.k.

I would rather you did so, as a matter of fact, rather than you leave ugly and unkind comments on my page. I do not put ugly or unkind comments on my page directed towards you, nor do I post them on your wall. I have a very strict rule for myself to try to only leave uplifting and honest comments for others. If I have something to say that might be construed as confrontational, no matter how carefully I say it, then I will send it to you in a private message.

That is my Biblical understanding of addressing a matter of disagreement in the church. If you believe me to be sinning, please be so kind as to call me, message me, email me and let me know. I am open to discussion. You are on my friends list, because I think you are my friend.

But anyway, onward and upward...

Before even opening a facebook account we had a lot of family discussions. We discussed getting ad blocker first, to avoid the often pornographic ads that pop up on the side bar of facebook, which we did. We discussed family rules on what would and would not be appropriate content on our pages and on our friend's pages. (We have sometimes had to talk to our children about comments they have left and what some might construe from them and had to remove them. We have open access to each other's passwords and pages)

So after much discussion and thought, I finally opened a facebook account, this social networking venue, to reach out to my friends and family and share God's word with them. Our family uses facebook to grow spiritually ourselves ( I read tons of Bible articles on here), and to try to uplift and edify others.

Sometimes that means I have to s-t-r-e-t-c-h and grow a bit.

Sometimes I might be trying to encourage you to s-t-r-e-t-c-h and grow a bit. Sometimes I get my heart pricked and realize there is an area I need to do better in. Sometimes I try to pass that on to others, because surely I am not the only Christian that has some maturing to do.

So, see, I am going to continue to study and write Biblical articles. That's the point of my life. To grow and do what I can in my little corner of the world for my Father.

If you are on my friends list, I'll be writing to you, too.
Like anyone that writes Biblical articles,
I spend a lot of time in study and prayer each time I write.
I try to go over everything with a fine tooth comb.
I won't say it all perfectly but I will do my best.
Yes, there are others with more knowledge than me.
I think that just about everyone can say that.
I don't claim to be spiritually mature (or think I am, ahem, not a nice dig by the way).
But I'm not a babe in Christ.
I do have years of study under my belt.
I have sat at the feet of a lot of Faithful, sound, Godly men and women and taken their sound teaching to heart.
Some of you guys as a matter of fact!

It just doesn't make sense to me to do all of the study, prayer and preparation in writing and then to say, "Don't worry, I'm not talking about you, or to you, just ignore this article!"

That would give you a free pass to NOT do some self examination, which is the whole point of a biblical article. How much good would it do me if, before I read an article, the author gave me a disclaimer, "Debbie Heck, don't worry this article is not about YOU, to YOU or for YOU. Keep on the path you're on and don't examine yourself!"

Now onto the comments as to the need for patience, grace, mercy, humility towards others...

Any of my friends that read what I write on a regular basis knows that is my "battle cry" so to speak.

I try so very hard to encourage others to show the great love,
mercy
and patience
that Christ has shown to us, to others.

However, along with that undeniable and necessary attitude of agape love, we must be aware that some sins cause others to stumble NOW.

Some sins must be stopped NOW.

We can't keep on fornicating, or raping, murdering, looking at pornography, molesting children, stealing, lying, etc. These sins hurt and effect others.

So does the sin of immodesty.

You have no idea how many men are involved with pornography in the congregation you attend.

You have no idea how many hurting couples have come to us and complained about the way Christian daughters and mommas are dressed and the temptation it puts before their sons and husbands. The problem is church/world wide and epidemic.

You don't know how many private messages I got from Godly, good men that were grateful this issue of immodesty in the church was addressed because they can't hardly serve on the LORD's table as they pass the plate over exposed thighs and cleavage.

I am tired of the cry, "Men need to not look...they are just bad, dirty men. " Of course they need to look away. They are trying. Hopefully you won't be the one with grape juice spilled down your chest as they close their eyes over you while they are passing the fruit of the vine.

They're not bad or dirty.
They're men.
They are your husbands, sons, brothers and daddies, trying their best to get to Heaven pure,
and one of their biggest stumbling blocks is often their sisters in Christ.
What a shame that is.

While discussing this subject with my Dear Father in law, he said "God made men this way. They are visually wired, and it effects both young and old.
I don't know at what age men aren't effected by it."
They have to work hard all day every day every where to guard themselves. It is not right to have to do it in the Lord's worship service as well. It should be the one haven of safety that they are afforded.

ONE sin can forever alter the course of your life. One act of fornication. One time to purchase pornography or take that first drink. Sin is HORRIBLE and it's consequences are NOT to be taken lightly. We get so calloused to the idea of one little sin, one little area of sin in my life that I need to improve on, that' I'll get to eventually. Yikes.

If you want to be angry about something, well, to be frank, don't be angry someone is asking you to cover up your boobs. Be angry about sin.

So, from this long blog you can see that I have been "fed up".

I chuckled to myself
(now)
as I typed that.

Because I thought and prayed almost all night long.
I cried, a lot. Eek, you should have seen my puffy eyes this morning.
It weren't pretty.
I vacillated between down right boiling mad, to indignant and sorry.

I felt fed up.

Then I asked myself, as I often do, to examine my every emotion, and who/where/why it was coming from.
God or Satan.
It's a frequent family discussion at the Heck household.
Who are we trying to please, which one?
Why are we really aggravated?
And I reasoned in my little old head that anger would only be pleasing to that old liar the devil. I was feeling fed up? Well, maybe I should get "FED" up to the full with God's word.

So, you see, initially I felt "fed up" with people being defensive and angry.
Some of my friends were "fed up" with my Biblical articles and evidently with me.

Many of my friends were "fed up" with those friends comments. (Which I have to say, I did appreciate your love and support...what can I say...I'm human.)

But, with a lot of prayer and study I'm thinking we should just all be "fed up" with God's word.
As in "fill yourselves us with His word and His will.
Eat up His word, not each other.
Hide His word in your heart,
not anger.

Let's all be FED UP TO THE FULL in our Bible hearts/minds with His goodness and humility and don't be bent out of shape with each other, or even for each other. (Ahem...but did I mention that I appreciated, and NEEDED the support you gave to me my sweet and tender friends!)

God is SOOOO Good.
Sin is soooo bad.

Let's all be on the same team guys. It's a hard road ahead.

But, if you're still aggravated with me, hit "unfriend".

It's o.k.

My Father's got big enough shoulders for the both of us.

I love you all!
I hope your day is super duper!
~m

To the Sweet Young Girls in my Life

Good morning girls~

Yes, this post is just to the girls. Specifically to some young girlfriends of mine. I love you very much. I am constantly impressed by your kindness, your deep love for others, your caring example in looking to the needs of others, your desire to please the LORD. Your faithfulness in attending services. I LOVE YOU!!!

But you, like me, are not perfect. I have my struggles and you have yours. I know one of those struggles put upon all of us is the pressure to conform to the world. The pressure to buy into the foolish idea that you must win a fella by your outward beauty and by showing off your lovely young figures. Sweet friends of mine, please do not buy that lie Satan is trying to sell you. Please look to His word for His idea of modesty. Do a word study on articles of clothing. I assure you from my deep study, and the study of many other faithful men and women, it will conclude with the knowledge that God wants us covered from shoulder to knee. Please do not come to church again (or anywhere else) in short dresses or with ANY cleavage showing, with skin tight T~shirts stretched tightly across your chests. Wearing a see through lacy undershirt under your too low cut t~shirt does not make your outfit modest. It draws the eyes right to an area of your body that is CREATED to be seen by ONLY your husband. It's for your future husband's pleasure some day, and for nursing whatever sweet babies God may give you (if you chose to do so). It's not for my sons to view( unless one day they are your husband...which right now they AREN'T) It pleases that old liar the devil, and he couldn't be more happy that you have been caught in his trap. It saddens and angers our LORD, who continually warns us to be READY. To remain PURE. To stand fast always, to be watching for HIS return..

Your own dear mommas or grandmommas may not stop you. They may not have the Bible knowledge themselves. They may be thankful that you are improving in your dress, and be afraid to push you a bit farther to where you need to be. But sweet girls, Immodesty is a sin. Immodesty can not only cause you to be lost, but others to stumble as well. Other girls because they see YOU as a good Christian girl and think it's o.k. to dress like you are dressing, and boys because they can't help but stare...and imagine. They are not bad boys. I am a woman, and I can't help but see, and males are just more visually effected. That's how God created them. That's why it's COMMANDED that as women we adorn ourselves in modest apparel. There will be a time when you get to bare all. It will be right, good, pure, wonderful, complete happiness...in your Christian marriages. But for now, keep those beautiful, lovely bodies covered up. Keep it a mystery and just shine with your beautiful smiles, your beautiful actions, your beautiful modest clothing.

I LOVE YOU SO VERY MUCH!!! I look forward to spending more time on this earth with you. You light up a room just by your very presence. I look forward to spending eternity with you, sweet girls. Will you please think about these things? Will you please be willing to die to self, and follow the LORD and His will even though it's hard. Will you please try to have a humble heart and not be angered by this note to YOU? Will you please be brave and post this on your own page to encourage your own dear friends?

Have a super day my sweet young encouraging friends! Big warm hugs to all of you!

Love~
me

24 Days of Blessings 1-5

As I sat here all cozy in my window seat this beautiful November morning, sipping a hot cup of spiced tea, and gazing at the bright leaves plastered on the ground, I pondered for a while all the blessings God has bestowed upon us, and me, in particular in my life.

The first thought of thankfulness that crowds all other thoughts from my heart is being thankful for His infinite mercy and love for taking a wretched sin sick sinner like me, and looking into my heart, knowing if only I knew Him I would obey Him and love Him for all I'm worth. Then His Providential hand placed one kind and loving good man in my path that would show me the way. Oh the depth and the riches of God's saving Grace flowing down from the cross for me! It is a fact I ponder daily that His infinite Mercy and Grace are completely unmerited by me.

My first thought of thankfulness always turns me right to my second, my dear husband, my Enri, by David Wayne, my Superman, my savior that led me to my Savior. I do believe in soulmates, and he is mine. No matter that we may disagree on some things, no matter that communication can sometimes be difficult between a crazy busy gal who sometimes uses way too many words, and a good and Godly man of few words; He is just what I need, and I am infinitely thankful for him. He is my life, my strong and steady, my best friend, the one who loves me, guides me and stands beside me through every battle that has come our way.

And battles lead me to my third thought of thankfulness. I am thankful for God giving me my best (girl) friend, Tammy, a faithful Christian, a treasure, a true best friend, a therapist, who would truly help me to heal and push me to be the best that I can be. Whole, faithful, Godly, focused, happy, content, at peace with my past, letting go of my past, and pushing forward with Joy for today and All God has blessed me with. Knowing where I came from and where I am is enough to make me the firmest believer in God's mighty Providence. My salvation is enough. My husband is enough. Tammy is enough. Any one of these blessings in my life brings me to my knees with Thanksgiving, completely humbled by the Mighty loving care of a God who has woven this wonderful, impenetrable fabric of loving care and concern throughout the days of my life to bring me to this day.

This one friend, my bestie, and this woven fabric that surrounds me, leads me to counting my other greatest blessings, my other best friends. Blessings upon blessings have been showered upon me because of my wonderful daughters Ashley and Candice, my sweet Shauna, my dear Chasity, Luvenia, Colby, Tina, Cindy, Joy, Nancy, Judy. Good women. Better that good. Good doesn't say enough. Tough. Kind. Loving to the depths of their souls. Honest. Strong. Faithful. And here for me every step of the way. When we were hurting and barely able to lift our heads, when we laughed until we cried and every painful step in between. I thank God every day for these precious women who have borne it all with me. I thank God for weaving them into the fabric of my life to mold me, form me, make me into this woman that I am. A woman that loves deeply that wants to show that love to them and be here for them like they have always been for me.

My last thought of thankfulness for the day will sound strange to some, and make sense to others. I am a bit ahead of the game as I believe this will be my fifth thing to list and it's only November third, but these five all go together. You may think it's strange that I have not named my children, my precious, precious children yet, but I will. I will get to each one of them individually. But it's these first thoughts that help me to love my husband and my children as God would have me to. That help make me the wife, momma and friend that I want to be. So the last thankful thought I leave you with today, is my cancer. I thank my Father every day that I had cancer. It hangs over me as a shadow. Not frightening me or worrying me, but reminding me that I truly don't know how long I have. It helps me not wait until tomorrow to tell my blessings and grandblessings that I love them dearly. It reminds me to hug them and rub their backs and hold them and love them for all I'm worth. It prompts me to fall on my knees thanking God for one more day. It focuses me on peace, patience, love, tranquility, faithfulness, mercy, grace, seizing the moment, and working with all my might today. It taught me to sit and wait. To enjoy every moment both the quiet and the crazy. It gave me a doctor who has helped me let go of my imperfections, and truly feel whole and normal, even when dealing with a possibly terminal illness.

Oh, I am thankful. So very thankful. I love you my friends. I pray your day is blessed with REALIZED blessings.

love~
m

Top of the morning to ya!

So hubby and I have random conversations.

I do admit that sometimes they are a little too silly.

The other day...well a few weeks, or maybe even months ago, really, while one of our sons was doing the icky, yucky "tick picking duty" on, or I should say OFF of our poor dog, Duchess, I had a light bulb moment.

I turned to hubby, grinned mischievously, wiggled my eyebrows and said,
"Honey, YOU are a chic magnet and Duchess is a tick magnet."

Hubby promptly replied, "No I'm not, I'm a "MY wife magnet."

To which I laughed and said, "Well, I'm a chic."

Hubby was not nearly as amused as I was.

****sigh*****

But it was funny.

:)

Have a super day friends!

God loves each and every one of us sooo much.

He will give us strength for each day, so start this one with a smile!

Love,
m.

Haallooooo and A Yummy Good for You Recipe

Well, it's been a while.
A super di duper Looooooooong while.

I've had plans, plans and more plans to write oodles of things, but...alas...I don't seem to get around to it. I am confident that I will eventually, because it's on my list to get back to blogging.

And if it goes on my list, eventually, it gets done.

Anyway. I'm really on an eating healthier kick. Trying to help hubby any way I can mend his broken leg, and do my best within my power to prevent my cancer from re~occurring.
So, spur of the moment today I threw together this marvelous, this super duper, this amazing~fresh~maybe~my~favorite~salad~ever. My momma used to fix a waldorf salad when I was a kid that I liked. I had a bit of that taste in mind, added a bit of fresh this and that, and here's what I came up with for our lunch today.

Fresh Waldorf Ambrosia
2 large handfuls fresh spinach leaves rinsed and patted dry
1 small head romaine lettuce rinsed, patted dry, and torn in smallish pieces
1 1/2 pounds red grapes with seeds removed (grapes with seeds are better for you)
5 stalks celery rinsed and chopped
2 granny smith apples cored and chopped
1 cup fresh snap peas rinsed and chopped
1 1/2 cups chopped pecans
1/2 to 3/4 cups raisens

This makes a ginormous amount!!

Dressing is:
1/2 cup light miracle whip
1/4 cup apple cider vinegar
2 tsp honey
1/2 tsp. salt

Mix together, then pour and thoroughly toss salad.

Oh me oh my, it is sooo good!
Enjoy friends.

Hopefully be back soon!
love,
marie

I wanna be like HIM

The LORD is merciful and gracious,
slow to anger,
and plenteous in mercy.

He will not always punish:
neither will He keep His anger for ever.

He hath not dealt with us after our sins;
nor rewarded us according to our iniquities.

For as the heaven is high above the earth,
so great is His mercy toward them that fear Him.

As far as the east is from the west,
so far hath He removed our transgressions from us.

Like as a a father pitieth his children,
so the LORD pitieth them that fear Him.

For He knoweth our frame;

He remembereth that we are dust.

Psalm 103:8~14

Inspiration

He gives more grace when the burdens grow greater.
He sends more strength when the labors increase,
To added affliction He addeth His mercy,
To multiplied trials, His multiplied peace.
When we have exhausted our store of endurance,
When our strength has failed 'ere the day is half done;
When we reach the end of our hoarded resources,
Our Father's full giving is only begun.
His love has no limits, His grace has no measure.
His power no boundary known unto men;
For out of His infinite riches in Jesus,
He giveth, and giveth and giveth again.

~Annie Flint~

One more quote that inspires me...

"One can not tell what passes through the heart of a man by the look on his face."
~Japanese Proverb~

Patience, grace and mercy with others,
we just don't know what our Brothers and Sisters might be going through.

Have a wonderful LORD's Day worshiping Him.

Love you dear friends,
~m

My Wednesday walk/run ramblings...

Hello Dear Friends,
I love writing to you all.
I'm not good at writing letters with pen and paper. I have good intentions, but we all know how that goes, so blogging is the perfect way for me to keep in touch with so many that I love.

Just a few random thoughts that I started writing down Wednesday,
that somehow spilled over into Thursday...
that may spill over yet again if I don't get with the program and finish this post.

First my goofy move of the day, well Tuesday.
I knew that I was officially back into the swing of exercising when I was on my way to a doctor's appointment yesterday and I just barely caught myself before I squeezed my water bottle over my head in the still hot car. Yep. I do that regularly running on hot summertime roads and trails. But NOT on the way to the doctor. Not my brightest moment of the day. But funny.

My normally~at~home~still~kiddos have been gone to Bible camp this week. I had all of these ideas of getting a LOT done...ahem...Not so much. I haven't painted one little ol' piece of furniture. I haven't worked on one single itty bitty household project...and believe me there are still plenty to chose from. And while I have done a tiny bit of mending, I haven't even sewed much to speak of. I have done my normal housework: laundry, a wee bit of cooking, dishes. Nothing to write home about.

Friends have said, "Boy, I bet you are really missing your kids!" and, not even feeling guilty, I said, "I am really enjoying a quiet house and time alone with hubby." I love my kiddos. I shore do. But after so many hard months of high stress, chaos and anxiety, I am not minding a slower pace. I am not minding not doing much at all. I am not minding solitude and pondering time. I am NOT ready for my kiddos to be gone yet. But a little down time has been nice. And they are having a wonderful time at Bible camp.

I have used my quiet free time to go on a lot of long walk/runs, to spend a LOT of time in prayer, to do some extra Bible study, and to try and do some extra nice things for hubby and other friends and family here and there. I joked since my kiddos were gone, I was working on my wifey/sister skills. :) I picked up ice cream a few times this week and met hubby for a quick ice cream in his office date. Alas...there was not much smooching involved...
Hubby has windows in his office...sigh...
But in the evenings...
Yep, we watch the Tour de France...

What did you think I was going to say?
wiggles eyebrows mischievously
;)

I spend most of my time in prayer while running and walking.
Deep meditative prayers, that are often disrupted by,
well, sort of,
Attention Deficit Disorder Prayers.
Prayers of overwhelming thankfulness that often interrupt my prior thought.
A lot of thanking God for whatever bird or wild flower has just come into my line of vision, for the sheltering arms of a huge Oak tree that gives me a few moments respite from the hot sun as I run under it's cool branches and feel the most delicious breeze wash over me and refresh me for just a moment before I am out of the shadow, and under the hot summer sun again.
I thank God for trees a lot.
For the varying shades of greenness of each one. For the different varieties he has given us.
For the wonderful shade they create. For the idea of sheltering beneath them which draws me to God, and makes me remember that He shelters me in His arms at all times.
For the bliss of a moment in the shade and the cooling breeze that always accompanies my brief respite there.
Tress always make me thank God and ponder His infinite mercy for making something as lovely and magnificent as trees, just for our enjoyment. Just because of His infinite love and care for us.

Anyway.
I may be deep in prayer for someone's marriage, when this lovely little pair of Mr. and Mrs. Bluebirds just flit right over head, and I interrupt one thought of prayer to say thank you Dear Heavenly Father for those husband and wife bluebirds, I mean, bluebird mates. Because my prayer is spilling out right then as I run and breathe, and I catch myself praying, I don't mean to sound flippant...of course bluebirds are not married, but thank you Father for these beautiful bluebird mates. For the brightness of their wings, for creating so much just for us to see and enjoy. Thank you for blessing me with so much...
I'm not kidding.
My prayers are often interrupted and rambly.
Go figure.

But I know that God knows my heart.
He knows how thankful I am for every beautiful sight he allows me to see, every beautiful morning songbird he allows me to hear.
He knows I am trying.
Oh, I am trying with all my might to please Him.

I know I fail.

Of course HE knows I fail.

And I am so thankful,
so thankful above all else for His infinite mercy and grace for me.
For His infinite patience with me as I long so much to be more like Him,
to be more pleasing in His sight.

Yep, I have a long way to go. We all do. Aren't you so glad, along with me,
for God's unchanging nature?

Spending time in prayer being thankful is so good for you.
The more thankful you are,
the happier you are.
Not to mention it truly helps you to keep a humble, content outlook and focus.

But, onto some ramblings.
Two more odd little tidbits.
Two fortuitous little bits of information that have helped make my running more...
well bearable,
since I can't quite call it fun yet.
:)

I squirt myself with my perfume every morning when I get dressed out of sheer habit.
Hubby really likes my perfume, and I like that.
(No comments from the Jensens, my kiddos or Kara about aforementioned perfume.)
Ahem...
A girls gotta have some secrets.

Anyway, so, just out of habit, the other day before I ran, I squirted my perfume on my running clothes. NOT on purpose, because, let me tell you, no amount of perfume is going to cover up the funk you work up running.
Nuf' said.
However, I did, and that day when I ran, the horseflies that torment my running existence, left me alone.
I made up a little ditty as I ran, something like:

What's good for hubby and puts a smile on his face,
The horse flies don't like the way it tastes...

Yes, sometimes I am beyond lame.

But now I spray that perfume on every day before I run.

Tidbit number two.
Every morning before I run I was washing my face with Dove soap, like I do every day.
Well, it is hotter than a fire cracker right now.
It's been in the upper eighties when I start, and ending in the nineties by the time I finish and that is early~ish in the morning.
Sweat is pouring off of me.
Not a pretty picture, I know, but you have to have the details for this story.
So, as the sweat starts to seriously run down my face, it has been burning my skin like nobody's business.
I started to wonder if I had acid sweat.
Hubby was sure it was from too much salt.
Hubby likes to blame a lot of things on my salt intake.
He mostly just likes to harass me.
That hubby of mine.
:)
But I got to thinking, hmm...I wonder if it is some kind of reaction with the dove soap and sweat.
So, today, I did NOT wash my face before I ran,
and
TA DA!!!
No burning/acid feeling on my face!
Hooray!

Just passing these tidbits on,
in case any of you gals need some running/walking in the super hot sun tips..
or just a good laugh on my behalf.
:)

A few confessions now.

I love the idea of getting up early, but I'm not great at it.
Barf.
I would love to get up every day at 5:30 and run.
Every night, I think it sounds like a wonderful plan.
But almost every morning I have to fight going back to bed after hubby leaves.
The alarm goes off at 6:30 and hubby hits the snooze until 7:00 and we get up.
Pit-i-ful.
I know.
But it's how we roll.

I am not "naturally" submissive.
I have to work at it.
Hard.
I'm getting better.

I make up goofy songs all the time.
All. The. Time.
See aforementioned horse fly tune.
The grandblessings love it.
Hubby?
Eh, not so much.
One of our family favorites,
o.k., one of my favorites, is

"Here's the scoop,
eating oatmeal helps ya poop."

Yep. They're not always pretty. Just little ditties all day long.
But I also sing a lot of church songs too.
Singing, even silly songs, is just good for you I think.

Well, that's all for now.
I'm sure I should be doing something productive.
:)

Hubby will be home soon.
I need to go put some perfume on.
wink wink

Love you all!
I hope your night is wonderful!
Love
~m.

Lessons learned...and being learned in marriage...

At the end of the day when I lay my head down on my pillow,
my mind is often spinning with words.

Words of prayers for so many mixed up and hurting friends,
torn up families and splintering marriages.

Words of comfort,

encouragement,

hope...

and sometimes even rebuke
that I feel almost pressed upon to share with others...

Not because I am "all that",
but because I...we,
have been through some of the same struggles,
battled some of the same battles,
had the same fights and fears,
went about things the same wrong way...
and needed help,
love,
patience,
encouragement,
and hope
to get to where we needed to be.

Marriage is hard work.

AND,

every now and then

Marriage is easy.

When it is good and right and we are following His blueprint,
it is Heaven on earth.
Things just seem to roll smoothly.
When wedded life is good, the world is just a better place.
The birds are singing.
The sun shines brighter.
Most days
:)
We find it much easier to count our blessings.
We really can tackle any of life's troubles because we stand side by side and arm in arm
with His word guiding us.
We are united and we are strong.
There are hard times.
(more than you might expect)
Really rough, knock the breath out of you times...
But, nothing TOO hard that we can't handle, TOGETHER.

When it is bad, and we really are NOT doing it God's way,
it feels like a living Hell.
I don't say that lightly or flippantly.
I've seen illness, death, depression, cancer decimating bodies, abuse.
But nothing is worse than a failing marriage.
(except, perhaps in my estimation, a failing marriage with alcoholism involved)

I believe that God created marriage to be the closest thing to Heaven on earth.
Doesn't it make sense to say a failing marriage is as miserable emotionally and spiritually as we can become? We are ostracized from our spouses, and often from our Father as well.
We are discouraged, weak, angry, afraid.
Despairing we may spend a life time living miserably in constant turmoil.
We wonder how it got this way because we are Christians after all!
Then pile hard times on top of that, and we are knocked down.
Maybe for the count.
We wonder if any other Christian marriages struggle like ours?
How do we fix it,
or if it's that bad...
it just can't be fixed.

And then some give up.
They walk away.
They walk out.
They give up
or they give in.
And Satan gleefully watches another Christian home go down in flames...literally.

Our Holy Father is the designer, planner and promoter of marriage.
He wants and expects us to do it His way.
As in any other Biblical matter, His way is good, right, pure, light and full of joy.

When we deviate from His way, it brings heart ache, on ourselves and on others.
When we are prideful, immature, fleshly, selfish,
when we throw agape love out the window,
and we throw our intended roles out the window
it is not,
and it will never be,
pretty, or easy, happy or peaceful.

Too often of late we have found that a lot of "apparently" good marriages are really falling apart.
Too many men proclaiming to be Christians are involved in sexual sins
from pornography to adultery.
Too many wives are discontent and unhappy,
seeming to think they are missing out on something, perhaps keeping their gaze on the world, rather than the world.
Longing for...what...
Romance?
Fulfillment?

Too much selfishness.
Too little Agape love.
Too much immaturity.

Too much entering into marriage allegedly prepared,
but really without clear ideas of what AGAPE love in marriage means or what God's roles for husbands and wives really are.

Whatever the reason, the troubles, struggles and sins hurting both husbands and wives are real.

If you are married, you may be struggling yourself.
If not, you may know someone who is.
If you're not married yet, likely some day you will be.

I know there is no easy answer.
Well, maybe I am saying that wrong.
The answer is easy.
It's the application, the laying aside bad habits, that is so hard.
But we just have to. Too much is at stake. And Satan is just sooo good at deceiving.
My prayer is that we will all look within first,
but also I hope we can reach out to others with love and patience and gently help guide them into a better way...God's way.
I pray we can unmask lies that Satan has fed us concerning marriage.
Maybe to ourself.
Maybe to a friend or loved one.
NOT with a holier than thou attitude.
But for LOVE'S sake.

We will study a few points and ponder a few ideas that if applied to humble hearts,
can better our marriages.
How do I know?
Because God never lies, and these ideas aren't mine.

They're HIS.

The points we will cover:

1) You need to be the perfect help meet for your husband, NO MATTER what anyone else says.
I did not say PERFECT person, but perfectly suited for your fella in particular.

2) You can't change anyone, but you can influence them. And you should be influencing your dear hubby for the good...not for your good.

3) If you are busy serving, you don't have time to worry about if you are being served. Self explanatory, but we will dig deeper.

4) Eternity is real, and no matter how bad you think your life is, it's a drop in the bucket compared to where you will some day take up permanent residency.

5) You are NOT the only one having struggles! Seeking Godly advice has saved many a marriage. However ONLY seek godly advice!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Points to follow soon!

So many of you have encouraged us in our marital walk,
and we are so grateful!
I continue to pray for all of us to have humble hearts as we strive to please our LORD and truly have the marriages God intends for us to have.

Much love dear friends!
~m

Sage Advice

Finally, be ye all of one mind,
having compassion one of another,
love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous:
Not rendering evil for evil,
or railing for railing:
but contrariwise blessing;
knowing that ye are thereunto called,
that ye should inherit a blessing.
For he that will love life,
and see good days,
let him refrain his tongue from evil,
and his lips that they speak no guile;
Let him eschew evil, and do good;
let him seek peace, and ensue it;
For the eyes of the Lord are over the righteous,
and His ears are open unto their prayers;
but the face of the Lord is against them that do evil.
1 Peter 3:8~12
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Another one of my favorite passages.
:)
~~~~~~~~
Have a wonderful day sweet friends!
I'm off for a mammogram.
Barf.
But then the zoo with my kiddos.
Woot!

These are a Few of my Favorite Things

I think that's it's fun to learn more about other people.
I'm a question asker.
I don't call it nosy, because it's not.
I just care.
I love to know more about other people;
about what makes them tick.
How did they become who they are,
and why.

I love those "twenty things no one knows about me posts".
I don't think they're vain.
I think they are great,
because I get to learn more about people I love, or am just getting to know,
and I didn't even have to ask to find out!

I plan on getting back to some Bible study articles soon.
My sweet kiddos will be on a stateside door knocking campaign next week
and then a week of camp,
so I will have plenty of quiet time.
(maybe too much...eek)
The great thing about NOT having insomnia, is, I SLEEP!
The down side to sleeping is I am not up in the wee hours in a quiet house, writing. :)

Anyway, on to a randomly silly, fun to write post.

My favorite song of all time is Mandolin Rain by Bruce Hornsby.
I could listen to it every day.
Oddly enough, he is definitely not my favorite singer.
I don't really think his voice is that great.
But the song is amazing.

One of my favorite Bible verses right now is Romans 9:20
"Nay but, O man, who art thou that repliest against God? Shall the thing formed say to Him that formed it, Why hast thou made me thus?"
It speaks to me as applied to marriage and our roles, as it was pointed out in a wonderful article by a friend, and it speaks to me in being content with who I am, while striving to be better.

That brings me to a favorite thought of mine.
Being comfortable in my own skin.
I love that I am finally old enough and slightly wise enough to be just that.
Happy, thankful, thoughtful, grateful, aware of who I am and that God created me.
I am a conglomeration of my past, God's word, my genetics, my husbands influence,
providence, my peers, prayer and my upbringing.
And that's o.k.
Content to know that I am not perfect but that I am working always on being the child of God, wife of my dear hubby, and momma to my sweet children that God would have me to be.
Always room for improvement,
but grace and love for myself to know that it's o.k. to not be perfect.
That no one is.
I don't need a perfect body, the perfect words, perfect habits all the time.
I'm not giving myself room to sin.
I'm giving myself a little grace to fail, pick myself up and keep going.
Keep a wholly, HOLY repentant attitude, and God will do the rest.
I just need to keep striving, and God is pleased with that.
What a comforting thought that is to me.

I love salt.
More than the average bear.
I am a saltoholic.
What, you didn't know that was a word?
Now you do.
I salt my pizza.
Really.
I have been given a salt lick as a gag gift.
I thought it was very thoughtful.
:)


One of my favorite people that ever lived
(that I knew)
was my Grandma.
Her name was Naida.
As a child her friends and cousins called her "Naida Potata",
then her favorite cousin shortened her nickname to "Spud".
Yep.
She wasn't perfect, but she was mine, and I loved her very much.
She was not a Christian, but she was an amazing woman.
She gave short sage advice like,
"He won't buy the cow if he can get the milk for free."
and "Nobody likes a brat."
She once bought a T-shirt that said "I finally got it all together, but I forgot where I put it." Slightly scatterbrained at times, seemingly a family trait.
She was funny and loving, caring and kind.
And I loved her.

I love to paint antique, or any, wooden furniture white.
Not. A. News. Flash.

I always wanted five children.
For whatever reason five also happens to be my favorite number.
Hmm...
glad it wasn't twelve.
:)

I love traveling, but HATE riding in the car.
Hubby is very good to me and makes frequent stops to let me stretch my legs.
I love that guy.

I love taking long walks.
But taking long walks on a wooded trail next to a river with my hubby is my FAVORITE.

I love watching the Tour de France with my family.
(and I am so glad I got to wash some of my hubby's cycling clothes this weekend, because hubby's leg is better enough that he got to ride on his trainer downstairs!!!)
Hooray for progress and healing!

Christmas is my favorite holiday.
Hands down.
Aforementioned Grandma was the Christmas Guru.
Now, hubby says I am the Christmas Guru.
But let me tell you, that hubby of mine is a purdy good Santa himself.
Thanksgiving is a close second.
Just the holiday time of year makes me have a HUGE smile on my face.
Crisp weather, holiday songs and decorating the house.
A slower pace all cozied up inside.
I LOVE IT!!!
I pretty much love every holiday,
because it means our family is all together.

I adore wearing cowgirl boots with skirts...or dresses...jeans...
Hmm...I might even try my pjs.
Nah...just kidding there.
But I do like my boots.
Hubby got them for me for out 20th wedding anniversary.
Did I mention I love that guy?

I love dressing girly.
Feminine is fantastic.
I love how the virtuous woman is talked about as clothing her house in purple.
I don' think that gal was a slacker or sloucher in her dress.
I believe she was modest, lovely and wore beautiful clothing.
Not ostentatious.
But it's o.k. to stand out a bit, if the reason you are standing out, is just because you have taken the time to look purdy in a modest, lovely manner!
And I do like to do that to.
Bring on the purdy things!
Hubby doesn't mind a bit.
:)

I love to sew, run, garden, read, talk to friends, study my Bible, cook, have folks over, cuddle with my hubby, play board games, and play hide and seek in the house with my kiddos, grandkiddos, nieces and nephews.
That sums up a few of my favorite past times/ things.

Oh, and my favorite ice cream EVER is coffee lovers only from Coldstone with extra caramel and extra heath. You can pretty much never have too much extra goodies is my motto.
It's hubby's favorite too, so we always share the biggest size.

I hope you all have a super day.
Count your blessings.
Say your prayers.
Spend time studying God's word THIS day and every day.
And if you have a minute, tell me some of your favorite things!

Love to you all,
~m

Charity

Sadly it seems almost weekly we learn of another marriage in crisis. Christian couples near divorce or filing for divorce. David and I are doing a lot of studying. Talking. Praying. I repost this from our wild raspberry sisters blog from several months back.

Charity

Charity suffereth long and is kind;

charity envieth not;

charity vaunteth not itself;

is not puffed up,

doth not behave itself unseemly;

seeketh not her own,

is not easily provoked,

thinketh no evil.

Rejoiceth not in iniquity,

but rejoiceth in the truth;

Beareth all things,

believeth all things,

hopeth all things,

endureth all things.

1 Corinthians 13:4~7

I am behind on a few things I was hoping to share. The love of my life and I recently celebrated our 20th wedding anniversary, and I planned on a long post about our exploits(along with fifty other random ones). Hubby thought that hiking the Grand Canyon from rim to river to rim would be a SUPER way to spend our 2oth. (I still think he was trying to get out of celebrating our 21st by doing me in!) Every page on the Grand Canyon site said "WARNING do NOT attempt to hike from rim to river to rim in one day!!!" My uncle who lives in Phoenix and who is a hiking enthusiast said, "I hiked from rim to river to rim in one day, once in my life. I couldn't walk the next day." Nice.

Did we do it. Yes. Did I survive? Just barely. Did our marriage survive? You betcha. It was quite an accomplishment to achieve together.

But on to this post. I don't feel like I can get onto posting about other things until I get this one out. My heart is aching for so many hurting marriages. Angry, hurting men and discontented, angry women. Couples that are falling apart daily before our eyes. Couples that want to get it right, but are just not sure how. Striving for the goal, but not reading The Map to get there.

Marriage isn't for wimps. It's not for the "I want it my way" types, or for the "I give up" types. I've been those types. Satan has had the both of us wrapped around his finger before. He tried to take us to rock bottom, but you know who's there? The ROCK, Jesus Christ and our wonderful Heavenly Father. His wonderful word, His wonderful church full of faithful friends to help us find our way back to HIS way for marriage.

It's not for the faint hearted. It's hard work. It's Heaven on Earth. It's all fairy tales, and dirty dishes, late night romance and dancing in the living room, aggravation that he didn't get you an anniversary card, heaping your heart over flowing full of thankfulness that he holds you so tightly every night, hard work. It's forgiveness and laughter and happily ever after, did he leave his dirty clothes on the floor again? It's less of self and more of him, because of HIM. It's stop being selfish and get your head out of the clouds, It's let's do it God's way and not my way. It's ALL about agape love, and then the romance, and lovin' fun good times come. It's mud tracked on the carpet I just cleaned, It's being chased down the hall and carried off to our room, wrestled and kissed, while the kids laugh...It's remembering that I am created to be his help meet...did he leave the toilet seat up? All rolled up into one. It is HARD WORK...And it is worth every second spent in prayer, worth every bit of work, sweat and tears you put in it. It takes conscious, deliberate action, discipline, selflessness, not selfishness, to make it work and it does NOT happen by chance.

Besides His Holy word, here are a few books that have helped me (that are helping me), though I give a disclaimer to not agreeing scripturally with every thing in the last two books, they are excellent encouragement for Godly marriages.

The Challenge of Being a Wife

Created to Be His Helpmeet

The Excellent Wife

I am praying for all of us to make our marriages what God would have them to be.

May God bless you as you strive for Heaven on Earth~

a very blessed wife,

Debbie

The Graduate

Our sweet Candice Marie.
Eighteen and all grown up.
I'm really not sure where the time has gone.

We are so proud of her and the faithful young lady she has become.
She loves God, children, long walks on our country road,
taking pictures (especially with her new Nikon), listening to music,
hanging out with friends, facebook, family and reading.
She is a wonderful young woman.
gulp
And it seems just yesterday she was a tiny girl.

{This one makes me get a little clumped up.}
***sigh***

It seems like only yesterday that we got the phone call from our social worker saying they had two precious little babies;
a tiny little girl, just turned three
and her bitty baby brother just nineteen months.
She called me.
I called hubby.
Hubby said "yes".
We did not know until those precious little babies arrived at our house that they were our namesakes.
Our bitty girl was Candice Marie, and I am Deborah Marie.
Our bitty boy was Robert Wayne, and hubby is David Wayne.
Some would call it coincidence. While I don't call it a sign, I do call it Providence.
And I do feel blessed to have them.
I feel blessed by each one of our precious five children.
I have always told our children that some grew in my womb, and some grew in my heart.

Another friend with special needs children always tells people,
if you think my hands are full,
you should see my heart.
I love that.
Of course the years of feeling like my hands are full are mostly behind.
Our blessings are grown, faithful, and a great help to us both.
I don't know how I would do without my sweet Candice.
She is a tremendous help and a joy to work beside!

Blessed.
Plain and simple.
I prayed for five and God gave us just that.
Hubby told me I was not allowed to pray for six. :)

Candice and her bestie, Lindsey.
She even got to skype with Linz, late after the graduation party.
It was the perfect ending to that perfect night of celebrating Candice's accomplishments!

Candice and her sweet girlie girl cousins,
Aubrie and Rylee, our best friends,
Alyssa and Sydney and another great friend,
Abby cutting up!

Candice and Kara, a dear friend and "sister".

All the cousins.
:)
Bliss.

She is always happiest with little ones and family around.
When it's both, it's perfection.

Family and friends at Burr Oak, our favorite nature center, and the home of a thousand family memories and a thousand family walks.

Bible Camp Girlfriends!

Another dear friend, her sweet Naomi!

Sisters and friends.
So different and so alike!

Booh, Candy, and Bean.
(Oh my word, I can NOT believe I just typed Candy)

Sweet sister smiles and love.

More wonderful family memories.
PUNKINS!

Our beautiful family picture with sweet Shauna, at Joshua's graduation.Beautiful both inside and out, in Jamaica teaching little ones about the LORD.

Candice and her beautiful Aunts, Chas and Shauna.
It was so hard to be without Shauna during this wonderful time in her life.

Yep.
It's real.
Yes they did misprint the diploma.
They put 2012.
But they sent the new one with 2011.
I just forgot to take a picture of it.
:)

She is a joy and a blessing.
And I do love that girl.
Happy graduation sweet baby girl!

I love you!
Love,
mom

Hmmm...

I am trying to play a little bit with my blog.

A very tiny little bit.

My problem is I love white SO much,
that every back ground I try seems garish to me.

This is the one that I found that I like the best...
but it's still just a maybe...

White is just so CLEAN and crisp!

I wish the middle part was white or light grey
and not light blue.

What do you think?

~m.

Cross words and other things...

"Cross Words" is a little poem that I keep in my Bible,
with many other wise sayings and treasures,
~~~
Like the last anniversary card my grandma gave me that says
"And they lived happily ever after." because she believed we would.
It may seem silly that it helps me to believe it too, but it does.
~~~
A dear card from my bestie, telling me how much she loves me.
Yep. I am that insecure to love that re-assurance.
~~~
A list of things women can do to serve from another of my dearest friends,
to help me remember the work God has for me to do.
It is all too easy to forget.
~~~
My prayer list.
(Self explanatory.)
~~~
All of these things are special,
comforting,
inspiring
and they help me to be a better Christian.
When I remember to read them.
That "when" thing is really kicking my hiney.

I struggle with my tongue and cross words.
No excuses, but plain truth.
It is made worse by hormone fluctuation during certain times of the month.
Again, no excuse, but true.
If I don't constantly work on trying to do better,
guess what...I don't.

It seems I (and others) of course struggle the most
(with whatever our particular struggle is)
when life is tougher than tough.
Prayer and Bible study are not what they ought to be.
Have not been what they ought to be.
I used to pray constantly and study daily.
Now I am struggling.

Lack of prayer and Bible study is a vicious cycle.
The less you do, the more you suffer for it and need to get back to it.
It is especially the case for someone like me.
Someone with a naturally harsh tongue who is too black and white,
who teaches the need to show grace and mercy to others,
but often forgets to exhibit those very qualities.
Not pretty. I know.

Today is a new day.
Even a fresh new month.

I am trying to shake off the fog of these last few months.
The last few years.
To focus and live purposefully.
To spend the time in prayer and study that I should be spending.
To talk to God and to believe He is listening.
You may be tired of reading my posts like this one.
I am tired of writing them.
But it is what it is, and right now it's hard.

I don't write for sympathy, or to discourage others.
I am sorry if I am discouraging.

I write because I KNOW I am not the only one struggling right now.
I intellectually "know" I am not the first Christian to have these struggles,
but emotionally and spiritually, it is debilitating.
It makes you feel weak.
At the worst of times, it makes you question your own salvation,
because you are discouraged and discouraged with yourself for being discouraged,
if that makes any sense.
It makes you wish you were dead.
Not taking your own life dead,
just "Please take me now LORD" Elisha's kind of wishing dead,
too discouraged to go on, too overwhelmed to keep up the fight.


I know the answer has to be re-focusing, re-purposing, re-dedicating my life to God.
I know others are struggling and stumbling along with a face plastered on outwardly that it is all o.k....but none of us are feeling that it really is, on the inside.
We are weary, sad and discouraged.
Stumbling, frustrated, feeling unsure of so much.

I know we need to take one day at a time.

So, I continue to ask our Christian friends to pray for our family,
our loved ones,
as we struggle to go on without Shauna,
for so many struggling marriages,
for so many diagnosed with cancer,
for our faith to be strong again,
for our hope to feel secure again,
for the wisdom to handle these struggles in God's way,
for strength to pick our selves up and immerse ourselves in His word,
and the humility to fall down on our knees in prayer,
and for the peace to KNOW He hears us.

And for us to just remember to have love,
kindness and patience with each other as our resources and coping skills are not just low,
but seem to be (temporarily) gone.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Cross Word

The cross word never made a friend,
It never earned a cent,
It never made a house a home,
It never bought content.

It never made a poor man laugh,
Nor mad a rich man grin;
It never caused an honest act,
Nor kept a soul from sin.

It never made a baby coo,
Nor made a sick child smile,
It never pleased the virtuous,
It never pleased the vile.

In fact, the cross word is about
The one thing on this earth
That we can get along without
Because it has no worth!

~anonymous~

"Let your speech be always with grace,
seasoned with salt,
that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man."
Colossians 4:6

love to you all,
~m

of graduations, postponed carnivals and grape salad

Last night was our baby girls graduation party.

Yes, I have shed a few tears.

It is hard for me to believe that we are at the end of another child's home school journey.

It is hard for me to believe that she is done.

I truly am not sure where the time has gone.

But it has.

We had a whole passel of special people over to celebrate this landmark
in our precious third child's life. Including a dear friend of hers who flew in from Alabama to spend this special time with her and all of us.

She even got to skype with her bestie from Tanzania.
:)

She is our middle, middle,
Third of Five.
Laid back as they come.

Sweet as pie and twice as nice.
And I don't just say that 'cuz I'm her momma.

You can ask anyone.
:)

Each one of our children is precious to us, for obvious,
and not so obvious reasons.

Our daughter, Candice, is a joy.
She is sweet, kind, lovely, gentle and even tempered.

I actually have a post I am working on, dedicated just to her, along with pictures,
pictures and more pictures.

I have a lot to say to her.

And about her...
and not the time
(or the tissues)
to put it all down right now.

But I have to say how very much we love her, and how very proud we are of her.

I love you, Candice Marie!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Now, for the postponed carnival

Today our "end of the school year" Home school carnival
was planned to be held at Chasity's and Daniel's house.

It was going to be stupendous.

Spectacular.

Super di duper!

They have both done a tremendous amount of work preparing and creating
fun~filled activities sure to delight!

It was going to be one amazing day.

Alas...the weather had other plans that did not include a fabulosa carnival...

rain,
drizzle,
and more rain.

***sigh***

Disappointed kiddos and adults.

We have all been looking forward to this carnival for weeks; the fun and fellowship,
and then the cook out/ potluck that was to follow.
Not to mention the beginning of summer break.
What?
Home school momma's need a break too!
:)

The good news is, it will be re-scheduled for a week or two from this Saturday,
so all is not lost.
(Small consolation to our little ones.)

The accidental good news is, we get to eat grape salad TWICE...
since I already made if before the aforementioned super duper carnival was postponed, and I will make it again when it's time for the real deal.

This salad is AMBROSIA.
It is a favorite of Chasity's, Shauna's and mine.

yum.

We first had it at a church potluck supper.
None of us thought that it looked good...brown sugar and grapes...
um, I don't think so.

We were WRONG.

You gotta try this.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Grape Salad
8 oz. whipped cream cheese (Too pricey for me; I just whip 8oz. of regular crm. chz.)
8 oz. sour cream
3/4 cup sugar
1/2 cup cool whip
1 tsp. vanilla

1 bag green grapes (not really sure how many that is...I just guess)
1 bag seedless red grapes (see above, and yes I have accidentally bought seeded)

Mix first five ingredients until smooth.
Wash and halve grapes.
Seed them, or see if your sweet graduate and her friend will do it.
:)
Turn grapes gently into mixture.

Topping:
1 cup brown sugar
1 cup chopped pecans
2 tbsp. melted butter

Mix together with fork and sprinkle over grape salad.
Press down and create "seal" with topping.
Can be eaten immediately or refrigerated and served the next day.

Sooo yummy!
You don't need dessert with this on the dinner table!

Love to you all.
Have a wonderful LORD's Day.

~m